THE PROVERBS 31 MAN

February 14, 2018

Love Is Waiting Series. Ep. 3

It is so easily we ask for a woman with a ‘Proverbs 31 Status’. I mean it is only natural we all desire good things. So when I often hear men pray for a proverbs 31 woman, I am not surprised. This only made me curious to find this woman. Is she in me? How can I bring her in? She is not a woman, she is a personality and everyone can be her.

Very often we place our 100% focus on the proverbs 31 woman. Yes, she deserves it. ‘A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Prov. 31:30). It took a wise King 31 chapters to find this woman. She didn’t even come in the early half of the last chapter of Proverbs, she comes at the last. This woman must be great, virtuous, adorned with jewels beyond that in this world. She must be a gift of God woven in human flesh. She must be a woman with a difference. It says all have done well but this woman surpasses them all. Wow! If excellence means going beyond the mark, like when your green Khaki shorts goes beyond the length of your 3quarter school uniform, this woman stands out. Isn’t it outstanding? I find her hardworking (keeping her home and keeping her business). You can read verse 13-19 to see how she does it. It took chapters to find her because true beauty is an evolution, not a big bang theory. So before you give up on your imperfections, you are just a work in progress. However, I don’t think she is a woman who got it right at all times, she got it right at the right time. She avoided mistakes and when they came she spun them till they turned blessings. She was so honoured. The writer didn’t give her a name so we decided to give her the whole chapter and called her ‘PROVERBS 31 WOMAN’.

Pardon me, this article is not for the proverbs 31 woman😉. I started with her so I can make you respect the next persona I am about to introduce. This is someone who stood at the background of the selfie proverbs 31 gave us. Let’s zoom on him –THE PROVERBS 31 MAN💖. Hurray! We have ignored him too much, like the way we remember the movie but forget the photographer or playwright.

You see, your Eve is a reflection of you, not another of your kind, she is an extension of you. From Genesis we see Eve coming out of Adam. You know that saying ‘by their fruits we shall know them’, yes. By Eve, the fruit of Adam, we shall know Adam. People judge you based on the decisions you make. Your ability to make the right choice is what will make you ‘wise’ or ‘foolish’. By the Proverbs 31 woman, we shall know the Proverbs 31 man.😊

The truth is, I admire the personalities of all the characters in Proverbs chapter 31 (mother, Lemuel, Proverbs 31 man, Proverbs wife) but this man intrigues me. He stays in the background and let the writer give credit to his wife. We only find him vividly in verse 23 where he is walking in wisdom and even respected for his wife and his home. He is not insecure so even in verse 28 he also praises her. He is so full of wisdom, only him could win the heart of a woman like her (a woman who fears the Lord, a woman of virtue, power, diligence and love). There must have been something more than extraordinary about him that could make this woman whom we praise so much and pray to be like, to say YES I DO.

Guys, whilst you tell your ‘beloveds’ to be like the proverbs 31 woman, please pray God makes you like the proverbs 31 man. Enough of shifting the responsibility of perfection. There is no proverbs 31 woman without the proverbs 31 man. Two things for you to note.

1. Get a job, or at least a vision for yourself. Don’t expect a submission where there is no mission. How can we have a subtitle where is no main title? The same way there is no ‘submission’ without a main ‘mission’.

2. Develop your self esteem. We only find the proverbs 31 man vividly in verse 23 whilst his woman runs through almost half of the lines in the chapter. Yet he was not insecure. In his wisdom and hard-work he sits amongst the elders and his fame travels even to the city gates. When you have a low self-esteem you become a limitation to your woman because she becomes afraid to go beyond the mark. Low self-esteem makes you a stumbling block rather than a building block in the relationship. A low self esteem is the foundation of complacency in your individual abilities to make the relationship better.

I pray for a proverbs 31 man. There is so much about him but I’ll halt by saying ‘HE IS A CARE-TAKER’, the original task God gave unto Adam in the garden of Eden. This makes him a teacher, leader, father, friend, the sum of which would be ‘A GOOD HUSBAND’. He knows how to unleash the potential of his woman. He knows how to handle her weaknesses so much they cannot be found. King Solomon wrote so much of her, he omitted her weaknesses. Not because she is perfect but her man was able to help her handle it. Just as she also manages his.

Until the proverbs 31 woman met the Proverbs 31 man, the book of proverbs remained incomplete. The faster and more committed you are to grow (spiritually, intellectually, financially, academically, socially), the better you can fulfil purpose because as we read Proverbs 31 with admiration, people need to look at your marriage with admiration.

The proverbs 31 man is the epitome for all men who want a proverbs 31 woman. When next you pray for that kind of woman, pray also to be that kind of man. Why? A Proverbs 31 woman will only say ‘YES I DO’ to a Proverbs 31 man. For all you know she is in the scene of your life already but you haven’t taken time to be the Proverbs 31 man, so we can’t move on.

When you go on your knees thou gentleman to ask her to be yours, legally and ceremonially. When you confess your love on your knees before her, that’s a symbol of what’s yet to come. I hope it means you’ll forever be ready to go down on your knees to confess your heart’s desire to God (even concerning her). I hope it means you can hurt your knee on the ground of love just to see your head (the purpose) of the relationship rise.

The difference is that when she says yes I do, that day and proceeds to reiterate it on the altar, you become one. The two of you become intersected, intertwined, interconnected so you won’t go on your knees alone anymore, she’ll join you henceforth.

When next I ask you your relationship status, I hope you can provide a certified result that you are Proverbs 31 positive😅. The first phase is to be G.O.D positive because the proverbs 31 man and woman are found in just two places, in Proverbs and in God.

Good luck searching and finding!

Written by Elizabeth Ewudiwa (Central University)

Episode 3, Love-Is-Waiting-For-You series